Why I Created AuDHD Adulting

A late ADHD diagnosis, two neurodivergent kids, and the community I wish I’d had sooner

I am the gifted, hyperlexic, left-handed kid nicknamed “Fidgety-Didgety” who learned to read at 3 years old, couldn't sit still, impulsively touched everything I shouldn't, got in trouble all the time for talking, and always had my hand up because I knew the answers. In elementary school, I had no problem telling my mother, teachers, and scout leaders what they were doing wrong and how to do it better, yet I was afraid to ask a store clerk for something.  I asked my mother so many questions she told me to call the reference librarian or to “leave this chapter out and call it a mystery.”

By 7 years old, I was wearing coke-bottle thick eyeglasses, and I cried during art class because I couldn't make my project look like the example. I'd wait to start a report or essay until the night before it was due, so I had no other distractions, then stay up all night and write more pages than my teachers actually read. My uncle called me "wart" because I worried all the time, and the summer I had my first job, I pulled out most of my eyebrows. I cried often and raged enough that my sisters knew to lock me in the garage until I had worn myself out. My twin sister called me the "lack of tact" girl because I just said what was on my mind, and she was the one all the boys liked.  Once I learned to type, my fingers typed out words in the air as I was listening to anyone, and when I learned to tap dance, I tapped whenever I was waiting for the bus, for the elevator, for teachers who took forever explaining things to everyone else. 

But I was just diagnosed with ADHD a few months ago.  I'll be 64 next month.

Most moms of autistic and/or ADHD kids can relate to what I’m describing because it is textbook neurodivergence. Then, I was an annoying know-it-all, extremely capable but emotionally out-of-control girl. Today, they would call me 2E, twice exceptional, and know that the hyperactivity, impulsiveness, anxiety, perfectionism, stimming, emotional dysregulation, and meltdowns all point to ADHD and are treatable with medication and therapy. But no one put it together. I’ve been in therapy for nearly 40 years. But clearly, with all that talking, I never got around to mentioning the important things that could have saved me and my family a lot of grief.

And of course I have two kids with ADHD, and one of them is also autistic. Somehow, they survived but we all have PTSD because their childhood years were tough. We triggered each other. I was constantly in crisis mode but I hadn't sought a support community, only therapy. My youngest was in autistic burnout for years, and because of that, I started learning everything I could about neurodivergence so I could support them. And now, it seems I know a lot more than other parents who are struggling. So I created AuDHD Adulting to share what I’ve learned with other parents, to support each other, and continue learning. If you are on this journey, I hope you'll join me.

Join the free AuDHD Adulting parent community on Skool:  https://www.skool.com/audhd-adulting-1492/about.